Mother refuses for her 15-year-old step-niece to babysit her 2-year-old baby as she doesn't want to pay her the same $40 she gives her niece: 'I only pay this much to my niece. I wouldn't give someone else this much money.'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Aug 2, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

A nice thing for someone cannot be transferred onto a nice thing for everyone.

Doing something nice for someone you know needs it can be rewarding. You feel better because you cared enough to help. And the helped person has one less problem to worry about. Seems like a win-win situation, but it can get complicated easily. When another person approaches you asking for the same favor "because you did it for them". This new person isn't that close to you, and you don't feel like doing what you did for someone you care about a lot. Because it costs you and constitutes something that you don't want to renounce for somebody you don't care enough about. It's hard to hear, but it's the truth.

In this Reddit story, the aunt made an extra effort to pay her niece $40 an hour when she babysat. She knew it was too much, but she did it because her brother was not in a good financial situation and wanted to help out. It was an effort she wasn't going to do for anyone, but she did for her niece. When her brother remarried, the new wife had a daughter as well. He now said that his 15-year-old stepdaughter could start babysitting sometimes instead. This didn't sit well with this user. She didn't want to pay that much money to someone she doesn't know or care for. And the only reason this girl is doing it, according to her, is because of the money.

Now, why would this mother do that big of a sacrifice for someone she doesn't really care for? She does it for her niece, whom she appreciates and wants to genuinely help out. This is an obvious choice for her. It's a no. Her new step-niece can't babysit. But now she has to break the news to her brother. What's weird is that he didn't realize in what position she was putting her. Why would she ever do this for someone she doesn't even know? This is a simple choice. Let's hope it doesn't break the family. 
 

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  • I have a 2 years old daughter. My niece (15) has been babysitting my daughter since she was born. My daughter is really attached to her. She does such a good job. I pay her 40 dollars an hour which might be too much but hear me out, my brother is a single dad who is financially struggling and she needs this money. This is my way of helping. Now my brother got remarried and her new wife has a 16yo daughter and she thinks the girls
    via Maddie3597
  • Two kids playing while an adult cares for them. Representation.
    via Marisa Howenstine

    Two kids playing while an adult cares for them.

    Representation.

  • should take turns babysitting. I don't want that. 1. I don't trust his stepdaughter. I don't know her. 2. I only pay this much to my niece. I wouldn't give someone else this much money. 3. My daughter is attached to my niece Now she thinks I'm an a h le and causing problems
    via Maddie3597
  • oceanicitl NTA. You decide who looks after your child. They're bonded and you trust her. Carry on as you are
    via Maddie3597
  • Temporary Thing7517 You specifically, are fine. Don't worry about it. You don't have to let her watch your kid or anything else, let alone pay as much as you paid your niece. Their home problems are their own to deal with. However, understand that they may stop your niece from babysitting for you to hurt you. She's 15? She will be fine in a few years when she can make her own choices, but it may s k for a bit.
    via Maddie3597
  • Arpeggio_Miette NTA. You choose who babysits your toddler. Your reasons are valid. And, you don't have to give her any reasons. "No" is enough of an answer. She thinks you're an a hole because she wants her daughter to be making that money. She is acting entitled to YOUR money and how you spend it.
    via Maddie3597
  • eldarwen9999 NTA, stepmom is just trying to get the $40/h and mind you, she'll try to up it because her daughter is older and thus needs more spending money
    via Maddie3597
  • 1568314 You say your brother isnt the kind of dad to let his wife make his daughter suffer... But if that were true, you wouldnt be posting here. He would've already shut this down and protected her job and her relationship with her cousin as well as your right to choose who cares for your kid. Instead he is standing back enough to make his wife's covetous behavior
    via Maddie3597
  • A girl babysitting a baby. Representation.
    via Brian Wangenheim

    A girl babysitting a baby.

    Representation.

  • everyone else's problem to manage. If he wont even take a stand for you and your baby, hes definitely not putting in the effort to keep his daughter from "causing problems in their family" by not doing whatever stepmom wants. NTA
    via Maddie3597
  • TheDIYEd NTA. Just tell your brother that you are not interested and if he continues to push this will lead to strained relationship. My guess is the new wife feels entitled that her daughter needs to get some of those sweet $40/h
    via Maddie3597
  • Melodic_Lynx_3546 NTA Your kid your rules end of conversation
    via Maddie3597
  • paulinaatjex NTA make sure to have a way that your niece gets to keep all her money instead of them forcing her to share.
    via Maddie3597
  • Lacroix24601 NTA, your child, your decision. This should never be about the step child having an equal opportunity to make money. I can guarantee that if not for paying your niece the $40, there would be no push for equal babysitting opportunities.
    via Maddie3597
  • Lucky_Life5517 Trust your gut, some people are not built for babysitting, I have a 15 yo daughter and I wouldn't let her babysit my 2 other little ones for more than 5 minutes because she simply doesn't care for it, and would rather be on her phone than watch them. I for sure wouldn't trust a teenager I don't know to take care of them.
    via Maddie3597
  • shan680k01 NTA, you're new SIL doesn't get to make your childcare decisions. It's an unreasonable ask.
    via Maddie3597
  • -Raveheart- NTA. Communicate your very valid reasons to your brother, who can hopefully convince the wife that you're not doing it to snub her or her daughter. If your brother or the wife can't accept that, tough. You don't owe your brother's wife's daughter any babysitting rights.
    via Maddie3597

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